Title: Clark's ten plans.

Author: philtre

Disclaimer: Who knew that the pretties would cost so much? All not mine, even if it pains me to admit it.

Category: Alternate Universe, Humour, PWP

Rating: NC-17

Spoilers: I don't think so.

Players: Clark, Lex.

Summary: Random smuttiness.

Author's note: Ten plans - Clark style.

Feedback: Mille Grazie.

Thank you: Alax, beta extraordinaire. If anything is mussed up, it's all me.

Clark was sick of Lex. Sick to death of the sexual innuendoes, the constant stroking of phallic objects, the not so subtle overtones of jealousy in his voice whenever Lana or Chloe made it into their conversation, the constant volunteering of help that was so lightly veiled in supposed friendship, the eyefucks that he had been trying to return - why didn't Lex just do something?

He stared up at the ceiling of the loft. His cock was getting hard just thinking about the way that Lex studied his body. Without even realizing it, his hand had snaked down his body to cup his cock. Shit. This wasn't healthy. He had been having the most intense fantasies about Lex recently, all of them leading to blinding orgasms.

Even if it killed him (a supremely hard thing to accomplish), he was going to make Lex admit that he lusted after him. He leaned over to grab a notepad and a pen. Payback time. Licking his lips, he balanced himself on his elbows.

Ten step plan to seduce Lex

Clark casually placed a box of produce on the front steps as Lex walked out the front door.

"Hi, Lex."

He grinned as he watched Lex's eyes slowly travel down his body. Clark had spent an hour picking out his outfit that afternoon. He was wearing a T-shirt two sizes too small and the tightest pair of jeans that he owned. Deliberately, he bent down to needlessly adjust a head of lettuce and felt the jeans pull taut across his ass. Good for Lex, and definitely good for him.

Turning around, he grinned stupidly at Lex, as he stretched out his arms, knowing very well that his T-shirt would lift to reveal his toned abs.

"So, how's it going?" Clark asked as he smiled innocently at Lex.

He watched as Lex gulped, eyes not quite meeting his. Yes.

"Good. Thank you." ahem "And how's the farm?"

Clark was still smiling serenely as he reached up to run his fingers through his tousled hair. "It's good. Mom baked some pies this morning. So if you're interested, you should drop by later."

"I just might." Lex eyes dropped as he tried to subtly study Clark's body.

"I look forward to it," said Clark, as he turned to leave, clenching his ass to provide Lex with a pleasant view of his behind.

Make Lex outrageously aware of his firm and toned body. Check.

"Hello, Lex," said Martha as she smiled warmly at him, "Are you looking for Clark?"

"Actually, I heard that you made some pies, and I thought that I would drop by to beg for a piece."

"Hey, Lex," hollered Clark as he bounded into the kitchen, "Came by for some pie?"

"Yes. And to drop off a copy of the Illiad for you." Lex waved a little book at him.

"Thanks." Clark smiled as he took the book. This was going to be fun. "Here have a seat. I'll get you a slice of pie."

His mom smiled at Clark and intuitively left the room. Setting the pie on the kitchen counter, he cut Lex a generous slice, then used his fingers to move it onto a plate. The strawberry filling had oozed onto his fingers, so deliberately, he slowly lifted his fingers to his mouth and began to lick them clean. He resisted the urge to grin as Lex's gaze became firmly fixated on his tongue.

Lick something suggestively. Check.

"Aren't you going to eat your pie?" Clark blinked innocently at Lex.

"Ah, yes." Lex quickly looked down at his pie and started eating resolutely.

"This pie is amazing."

They talked casually about the Illiad. Clark had to read it for a class, and he was not looking forward to it, at all. As Lex began to explain why it was important to look back at history and learn from it, Clark phased out completely.

"Well, even though sitting here watching you eat has been the highlight of my day, I have some chores to do."

"I'll walk with you." Lex watched as Clark dumped his plate into the sink.

As they walked towards the fields, Clark smiled happily at Lex, who in return was looking mildly confused.

"Man, it's really hot these days," Clark lifted the hem of his t-shirt, then peeled it off over his head. Stuffing the shirt into his back pocket, he turned to Lex with a huge grin, "No point being hotter than you have to be, right?"

Lex had dropped all pretense of subtlety and was blatantly staring at Clark's chest. With an evil grin, Clark ran a hand up his hard abs to his chest.

"See. I'm sweating already, as it is," proffering his moist hand out as proof.

Snapped back into reality, Lex's eyes shot up to meet his. He was pretty sure that Lex was sweating now too.

"I... have to go." Lex started walking away, then called back over his shoulder, "Thanks for the pie, Clark."

"You're welcomed," replied Clark, a little too cheerfully. You're very welcome.

Let Lex see him half naked. Check.

"Hey, Lex."

"Clark." Lex closed his laptop and walked around the table, "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I was wondering if you have a copy of the Odyssey. Turns out I have to read that too."

"Yeah, I'm sure I have it here somewhere." Lex scanned the shelves, and plucked out a thin volume, "Here you go."

"Thanks," said Clark, taking the book. Then putting on his best puppy dog face, he added, "Well, I guess I'll go into town to find some food. My parents went to Metropolis for a romantic dinner and left me all alone to fend for myself."

It was a lie. A complete lie. His mother had left him enough food to feed an army, but Lex didn't know that. Clark stood there waiting for Lex to say something. Come on, invite me for dinner, invite me, invite me.

"You can stay for dinner, if you like."

Jackpot.

"Thanks," replied Clark quickly.

He opened the Odyssey and plopped himself down familiarly onto the couch. Although he had didn't care for the book, he had every intention of making himself comfortable. Just Lex try to kick him out.

Clark had a grin stuck permanently on his face right up till dinnertime. Lex sat at the head of the table and gestured for Clark to sit at the opposite end. His eyes followed the length until it landed right at the other end of the room. With consternation clearly painted on his face, he made his way to the end of the table. He picked up his plate, silverware and glass, then walked back to Lex's side of the table and resolutely sat down next to him.

"I figure conversation would be a little difficult, considering the distance," explained Clark as he pulled his chair a little closer to Lex than necessary.

Lex merely leaned back and stared at him with confusion. Their food arrived and they began to eat quietly. Lex kept shooting him confused little glances and Clark merely sat there eating his food quietly, just an ordinary meal.

When he got a little impatient, he tilted his head at Lex and frowned a little. "Lex. Do you think gay men fight about who gets to be on top during sex?"

He stifled a giggle as Lex choked on his food. Clark reached over to pat Lex's back. A golden opportunity if he ever saw one. He began to slowly stroke Lex's back as he stared off into the distance, pretending that he was thinking really hard.

"You know, being in control might be fun, but something about being pinned to the bed ... or wall, is definitely ... interesting," he explained as he tried to look ingenuous.

Lex looked thoroughly confused, and he began to shake his head. "What's gotten into you?"

Clark turned back to look at him and smiled at him easily.

"Nothing. Just curious."

He gave Lex back one last stroke and then retracted his hand to resume eating. In the corner of his eye, he could still see Lex staring at him, perplexed from bald scalp to sharp chin. They made it through the rest of dinner without further incidence. Lex looked as though he was contemplating the meaning of life, and Clark was loving every second of it.

As Clark walked home, he brought up his mental checklist.

Bring up a conversation about gay sex. Check.

Touch Lex suggestively. Check. This list was moving fast.

It was several days later when Clark finally found another excuse to visit Lex. He dropped the produce box at the top of the stairs as Lex walked out with two bottles of Ty Nant.

"Hey. Man, I'm dying from this heat," said Clark.

Lex handed a bottle to Clark. "I figured."

"Thanks." Clark deliberately sucked the bottle into his mouth. He drank the water slowly, knowing that Lex was studying his profile as he sucked and swallowed. When he was done he turned to look at Lex.

"You look thirsty," said Lex as he handed him the second bottle.

"Oh, thanks." Clark he took the bottle, and then held it over his head, "Do you mind?"

"Be my guest." Lex's mouth was opened slightly as his eyes began to slide down Clark's body.

"Thanks."

Clark proceeded to dump the contents of the bottle over his body, effectively soaking his white T-shirt. He shook his hair and ran a hand down his wet body. Looking up, he saw Lex wipe a stray droplet off his cheek.

"Ooops. Sorry," said Clark with a huge grin as he reached forward to help Lex, but instead got his cheek even wetter.

Lex quickly brushed the wetness off his cheek, as his eyes ended up on Clark's wet crotch. Then lifting his eyes to Clark. "That's fine." Was Lex flustered? Clark wasn't sure, because it was definitely a first for Lex.

"Well, I need to get going. I'll see you later."

He knew that Lex was staring at his back as he walked away, so he reached down and pulled his T-shirt over his head. All the way home, he couldn't wipe the grin off his face. Two birds with one stone, not bad.

Suck suggestively on something phallic. Check.

Drench himself with water. Check. Lex didn't stand a chance.

Not being able to stop himself, Clark found himself in front of the castle the very next day. He stared at the front door for a few minutes before he reached to ring the doorbell. Enrique opened the door and merely stepped back to allow him in. He smiled at Enrique and walked through the doorway. Did the man even speak?

He strolled along to Lex's library and leaned against the doorframe to watch Lex as he sent a pool ball directly into a side pocket.

Lex lifted his eyes to greet him. "Hello, Clark."

"Hey." Clark smiled brightly as he walked towards the pool table.

"What brings you by today?"

"Nothing. Just feeling bored. Thought I'd stop by to say hi."

"Uh huh," nodded Lex as he chalked up his cue.

"You know, Lex. I've always known you to play pool, and yet, you've never taught me how." Clark reached out to lightly finger the cue that Lex was holding.

"Would you like to learn?"

"Yes. I would." Clark snatched the cue out of Lex's hands.

He bent down over the pool table and gave the cue a little experimental tap. Frowning with consternation, he turned to look up at Lex. "I don't think I'm doing this right. Can you guide my hands?"

Lex seemed to pause for a moment before he moved behind Clark.

"Relax your elbow. Swing with your shoulder, let that guide you." Lex placed his hands on Clark's upper arms as he explained.

Damn. Lex was standing at a way too respectable distance. He allowed Lex to steer his arm for a moment, and then in a streak of mischief, he pressed back against Lex.

"Oops. Sorry." Even though Clark was very far from sorry, considering that he had wriggled his hips ever so lightly against Lex before stepping back.

Lex was looking at him, utterly confused - for what must have been the hundredth time in the last couple of weeks. Clark grinned brightly at him. 'Fair is fair, Lex', he thought as he remembered all those times that Lex had tortured him endlessly.

"Well, I should really get home in time for dinner. Thanks for the quick lesson. We should get more in depth some time."

"Sure." Lex looked as though he couldn't manage more than a monosyllabic answer.

"Bye." Clark waved cheerfully at Lex and then turned to walk out.

Make ass-to-cock contact with Lex. Check. This was almost too easy.

Clark bounced into Lex's library. "Hey. I brought you some produce."

Lex looked up from his desk, then his eyes slid down to rest on the box of vegetables.

"Mom had some extra veggies from our kitchen garden, and she thought you'd appreciate it."

"That's very kind," said Lex as he came around the table.

Clark picked up the cucumber and started stroking it lightly. "She threw in some of our cucumber. Look, they're amazing. So long. And very firm too." Clark ran his fist along the cucumber. Then looking up at Lex with a huge smile, he proffered it to Lex, "Feel it."

Lex took a huge gulp and then practically glared at Clark. "What the hell is going on with you? You've been ... for the lack of a better word, throwing yourself at me," yelled Lex, the weeks of aggravation obviously catching up with him.

"Yes. I have," replied Clark calmly.

"What the..."

Clark stepped forward, and placed his lips squarely on Lex's. One second Lex was frozen in place, and the next he was sliding his tongue between Clark's lips. Their kisses becoming almost frantic as wet, sloppy tongues darted in and out of their mouths.

He groaned loudly as Lex's hand slid forward and stroked Clark's hard cock through his rough jeans. So glad I went commando, thought Clark. Within seconds, Clark had pushed Lex into the wall and was kissing him frantically.

He kissed a path to Lex's ear, and whispered lowly, "I had a ten step plan, you know?"

"What?"

"Ten steps to seduce Lex."

Lex laughed against his neck. "Okay ... What were they?"

"Plan one. Make Lex ..." Clark began to list off all his plans, punctuating each plan with a resounding kiss.

"Plan nine. Stroke something suggestively. Did that today. But you got me before I could get to plan number ten."

"What was plan number ten?" asked Lex indulgently.

Clark fell to his knees, swiftly unbuckling and unzipping Lex's pants. A hard long dick lifted up to greet him. He stared at Lex's slick hard head, and then unceremoniously slid his mouth down the entire length. Lex groaned loudly as he started fuck Clark's mouth, bumping against his throat as if Lex had lost control over his body.

He sucked urgently at Lex's cock, massaging his tongue against the sensitive underside. Lex was moaning loudly as he bucked against Clark, his hands on Clark's head as he shoved his head harder against Clark's hips. When Lex arched against him, Clark began to suck his cock earnestly, swallowing the come that was shooting against his throat.

Sucking the last of Lex's climax, Clark leaned back, letting Lex's cock pop out of his mouth. He felt needy hands pulling against his hair, urging him to stand up. Clark pushed the length of his body against Lex as he dipped his tongue into Lex's mouth, savouring the mixture of salt, sweat and semen.

"What was plan number ten?" Lex breathed the question into his ear, his voice husky and strained.

Clark grinned at him victoriously.

"That was plan number ten."