Alcohol wouldn't help.

Lex knew that, even though he could no longer remember the name of the fine brandy he'd sipped for over an hour or the whiskey he'd gulped for the last thirty minutes, drinking so fast there'd been no taste, just a burn in his gut.

There had been champagne, too, and strawberries and chocolate at some point. He wasn't too sure where that had got to, but it hadn't helped. Chalk another one up for the experts.

Of course the $2,000 whore hadn't helped either, and the experts wouldn't have bet on that.

Would they?

Gravity suggested he think about it while communing with the floor. Lex refused. Luthors don't give in to demands.

Ever.

He hadn't wanted to deal with sleeping issues at all today. That was why the appointment had been made this afternoon, rather than this evening. No fuss, no muss, no question of her staying the night. They'd had lunch informally here in the study and then moved up to the bedroom; she'd been intelligent and well read, good company in a bought-and-paid-for sort of way.

She'd been talented, worldly, legal and female.

And no help at all.

Lex stood up from his desk. It was time to go to bed. The sun was setting and his office was growing cold. He would wake up tomorrow regretting this enough without the added fodder of a stiff neck from sleeping in a chair.

But at least the chair held no dangerous double entendre's to slip him up as he was falling asleep. No scent of perfume. Neither should his room, of course. It wasn't as if the bed was the only place one went... to bed.

And the maid had changed the sheets by now.

He'd told her to.

That was over a bottle and a half ago.

Plenty of time.

"Lex?"

At the sound of Clark's voice, Lex gave in to gravity on the understanding that if he let it have its way, it would provide the quickest escape route. He slid bonelessly to the floor and curled up under his desk.

Maybe Clark wouldn't see him and would go away. He curled up on his side and felt something smooth touch his cheek. He opened his eyes and found a tray holding a bowl of dipping chocolate. No strawberries left, just the chocolate ganache all melted in the silver bowl.

The $2000 hooker, lady of the evening, courtesan, or whatever you wanted to call her, had preferred plain strawberries to chocolate dipping.

He should have known then she wasn't going to be of any help.

"Lex, what are you doing under your desk?"

Green eyes and black bangs and sharp/soft features highlighted by that fuckable mouth.

Goddamn Clark and his secret powers anyway. Whatever they were. So what? The boy could see through table tops now?

"Lex, it's a glass-topped desk. Not the best place to hide."

Lex propped himself up against the leg of the desk and pulled the bowl of whipped chocolate into his lap. "I'm not hiding."

"You're not?" Clark settled on the floor next to him, cocked an eyebrow and grinned. "So this is what?"

"Sampling one of the finest of New World delicacies." Lex ran a finger through the puddle of bittersweet confection and licked it off.

Clark didn't say anything.

"Did you know, Clark, that the Aztecs didn't use sugar with their chocolate? They served it hot with water and chilis." Lex took another swipe of chocolate and sucked, carefully cleaning off his finger before holding the bowl out to Clark.

"Want some?"

Clark's mouth was hanging open and he certainly looked hungry. Lex smiled and prodded his friend with the side of the bowl. "Come on. I promise it's not Aztec style."

They leaned closer to each other until Lex's mouth was just a few inches away.

This was just the sort of help he was supposed to be avoiding.

He sighed.

Clark sniffed and his eyes narrowed as he pulled back. "You're drunk."

The words could have been angry, but Lex thought the tone was more one of disappointment.

"True. And that does seem to make a difference." He leaned back again, sat the bowl on the floor and closed his eyes. He let his left hand rest on the edge of the bowl and continued to trace patterns through the melted chocolate. It was warm and sticky and nice. It felt almost as good as it tasted.

"What's going on, Lex?"

A very good question. One that Lex had been asking himself for weeks now. What was going on? Was this just a blip? Something that happens to everyone eventually?

Although never to a Luthor.

Except it had.

Sorry, Dad, for not being able to hold up the family honor.

Lex snickered.

"What are you talking about, Lex? What happened?"

Clark's voice was warm and soft like a really nice lavender cashmere sweater. It made Lex want to close his eyes again.

"Lex?"

"The Aztecs were incredibly dedicated to their empire. As a culture, I mean."

"Okay, I give up. What do the Aztecs and their culture have to do with you sitting under your desk playing with chocolate sauce?"

It was good chocolate sauce. Lex took another moment to clean his fingers off before settling them back in the bowl. He watched the patterns he drew in the chocolate slowly fill in and fade away. "The Aztecs had these traders that they would send out as sort of merchant-diplomats and they would be charged with finding new business, new allies new trade, but they also had to remain true to the empire."

"Ooooohkay. Traders. Empire. Got it."

"Do you? These men were weeks and months away from their homes. They'd come across new people, new ideas, but they had to keep themselves pure for the empire. So they had this ritual every time they were about to enter a new city." Lex wrote CK in the chocolate soup.

"What ritual?" Clark's voice was on the edge now. He was getting just a bit frustrated with Lex.

Lex shivered.

Not from cold.

Ritual.

Focus.

Right.

"Well, they would stop outside of whatever settlement they were going into and they would all sit around the fire the night before and take out their penises."

"Lex!"

"They did!" Lex cracked open an eye to check out Clark's blush.

Damn.

So maybe a bottle and a half of liquor in less than two hours wasn't as much as he'd thought. The experts would be surprised. Lex shifted and moved the chocolate bowl back to his lap.

"So, what? Did they have a big circle jerk before they went in to trade?" Clark asked.

"No," Lex opened his eyes wide and smiled at Clark. "They would take an awl made from the spine of a sting ray and pierce their cocks all the way through with it."

"Jesus Christ, Lex!" Clark hunched forward his hands instinctively covering his crotch. His large square hands over that very impressive... Lex closed his eyes.

"Think about it, Clark. What better way to ensure that the empire's diplomats wouldn't fraternize and develop inappropriate relationships with the locals? God. Who would want to after that?"

Actually Lex found just the thought of it... calming.

"Lex, when you get drunk you are really, really twisted."

Lex chuckled, but kept his eyes closed. He just listened to the voice of his sixteen-year-old best friend and wanted to go to sleep right there.

"But you know, I bet it didn't work."

Now Lex opened his eyes. "Are you telling me you think they could have sex after that? Or do you think they just didn't go through with the ceremony?"

Clark leaned in again and smiled. His eyes were bright. His lips were glistening.

Lex tried to focus on stingray spines, but Clark's voice intruded. "It wouldn't matter. Piercing their dicks may have kept them from having sex, but avoiding sex doesn't keep someone from falling in love." Clark reached out and ran a finger down the side of Lex's face. "What is with you, Lex?"

Good question. Lex reached out with his chocolate covered fingers and ran them across Clark's lips. The boy froze. His breath hitched and Lex immediately drew back.

Or tried.

How Clark got hold of his wrist he wasn't sure, but it was a grip Lex couldn't break.

"We shouldn't-" Lex started.

Clark smiled.

"Shut up, Lex."

And then he licked Lex's fingers clean.