Note: Takes place in the summer of 2002 (after Smallville Season 1 and Buffy Season 6). Spike does not yet have his soul.

"So, explain to me again why you made me come with you to Kansas, in the middle of America's heartland." Xander looked over to Spike, who was peeking out from underneath the edge the blanket held over his head.

For some reason, Spike's British accent always made everything sound sarcastic. "Because I needed someone to share the driving. It would take too long to drive from Sunnydale to Smallville only driving during the nighttime, especially in summer. And driving my wheels with the blacked-out windows is fine for short turns, but the visibility is too poor for long trips. Hurts my eyes. And we need to make good time."

"Right... and you chose me to accompany you on this road trip because?" Xander's brown eyes were wide with anticipation. The vampire rarely actually admitted need for anything, so his explanation ought to be good.

"Four reasons: You have a car. You can drive it. You're not needed right now and the others are. You couldn't kill me without a fight, while most of the others could practically just snap their fingers." Spike looked forwards through the windshield. "Now, watch where you're driving and in about three miles you're gonna come to a road. Turn on to it."

"Left or right, oh gracious navigator?"

Spike scowled. "It's the only road and it goes to the right."

"And why are we meeting this mysterious benefactor of yours?"

"Lex is many things, but I'm not sure `mysterious' is one of them. His face has been on the cover of more newspapers than I've ever read. And we need to see him to get a loan. Or, hopefully, a monetary gift, since I don't really want to have to pay a Luthor back for anything."

"And we need money because...?"

"Who doesn't? And also because a source tells me that there's evil brewing around the Hellmouth, and not just the run-of-the-mill kind this time, and extra funds should come in handy. I know Buffy is living though her contemptible fast-food job, and Anya is working for nearly minimum wage at the Magic Box, and you're pulling in okay, but other than that no one makes money and yet you all still try to live fairly well. More money will help ease the tension, get me more blood and maybe a new chair for my crypt, and only the worst super-heroes have no money. Buffy the Vampire Slayer by night and poor 20-something by day struggling with bills does not a good history make. More capital equals more resources equals a better fight for the good guys."

"And you're considering yourself a part of that label..."

"Listen here, mate. I've done more for Buffy than you ever could." Xander turned his brown eyes on to Spike, who managed to both narrow his eyes and raise his eyebrows.

"Just because you made her your little sex toy does not mean you've done anything for her. Okay, sure, you were a help with Glory, and maybe Adam, but when you've saved her life on a weekly basis for six years, you can get back to me. I'm her friend, which is more than you'll ever be. You're just a tool, something she uses when she needs to fix something. And when you're not needed you get shelved next to the other tools she doesn't need at the moment. The rest of us, me, Willow, Anya, Dawn, we're her friends, we're her family, we're her team. We're there for her no matter what. You're only there when you need something in return."

Spike turned forwards again, knowing that on one level, Xander was right. He used to use Buffy and her friends to get blood, since that was probably the most important thing he needed, being a vampire and all. He had also sold any information he stumbled across for cash. It was a somewhat honest living. But Spike also knew that he was right. Buffy needed him more than she was willing to admit. And what the fuck did he care what Xander thought?

"Look, nance, let's just agree to disagree at the moment. Lex and tension do not agree. He can sense it and it makes him all bristle-y. And you missed the turn."

Xander slowed the car nearly to a stop and turned around. He hated the platinum blonde next to him. Always had. He only put up with him for Buffy's sake, since she for some reason liked him. Sure, Spike came in handy sometimes, but Xander always wondered how different his life would have been if Spike had just given up after that night he trapped everyone in the school and still didn't get his kill. Now, here he was, driving to the middle of nowhere to talk to some rich guy and beg for money to prepare for God knows what that may or may not happen in the future. He turned onto the lone road now on his left, the car silent once more.

Xander pulled his car up to the front of the mansion, security letting them pass through once they saw his passenger. Even in the sunlight the place looked foreboding. Even Dracula's mansion had had a homey look to it. He should know.

They were ushered inside by a servant and led to the entertainment room. The servant slid around to the far wall to clothes the curtains, just in case Spike happened to wander too near to the windows. Lex appeared to be watching some movie with a giant squid attacking a sailboat. The special effects were bad, the music was worse.

"Lex!" Lex turned around and gave a guarded smile at Spike, his eyes sliding to Xander. He stood up and muted the TV. That just drew attention to how bad the special effects actually were.

"Hello, Spike. I wasn't expecting you till at least tomorrow. You made good time." He extended his hand first to the blonde, then to the brown-haired man next to him. The stranger looked both impressed with the surroundings and yet apathetic to something. He looked about Lex's age, but dressed like Clark. Only he didn't have Clark's musculature, raven hair, or piercing blue eyes, so the outfit only made him appear shabby and not God-like. "And who is your friend?"

"I'm Xander. And Spike and I aren't friends. We have a working relationship." Lex quirked his eyebrows. Xander looked horrified and with violent hand gestures exclaimed, "Not like that! I, uh, well, I guess I can't really explain the situation, but, uh, huh. Sometimes we work together, to help out a mutual friend. But not in that way either!"

"I think what my confused companion is trying to squeak out is, `Hi. I'm a huge dork but every now and then I take it upon myself to team up with the Big Bad and save the world. I'm not gay but sometimes I think I may be.'"

"No. I mean, yes, I help save the world, but I'm not gay."

"Do you think it would be a problem if you were?" Lex's expression was completely blank. He could tolerate many types of people, but homophobes were not one of those types. There were so many more things in the world for people to hate, at least hate something that was actually detrimental to society. Like kiddie-porn or boy bands.

"No! I just... people always tease me, because all my friends are girls. And I left my bride-to-be at the altar. And I may have had some things in common with the Trio. But not the take-over-the-world part."

"Pity. Taking over the world is one of my life's goals. But I digress. Spike, tell me again why you need my, shall we say, loan." Lex crossed his arms over his chest.

"Simple, mate. There's word that the actual Apocalypse is brewing, and that Buffy can stop it, but the poor girl needs the cash. I don't want her to be one of those people that has to commit crimes in order to save the world. She's not bloody Robin Hood."

"She does have her Merry Men though." Lex smirked as Xander blushed. "As in, a group of friends who help her in her deeds."

"Oh, yeah. Of course. I'm one of those. Friends. Who helps. Yup. Wait, you know about Buffy, and the rest of us?" With the confusion and uncertainty evident in Xander's eyes, Lex marveled over how much he reminded him of Clark. Just a little shorter and with more of a tan. Lex nodded at Xander's question.

"Isn't he entertaining, Lex? I get to play with him all the time. Bloody fun to mess with his head. But anyway, I could use your help. It's for Buffy, Lex." If Spike could be said to plead for anything, Lex saw that that was what Spike was trying to do. He knew how much Buffy meant to Spike. He figured that she meant more than Spike was willing to admit to anyone, and also that his asking for the money was evident of more than just something happening in Sunnydale. Almost as if Spike had something planned and felt that Buffy would need some funds to augment it.

"Of course, Spike. What good is being filthy rich if you can't engage philanthropy sometimes? As long as this stays both secret and anonymous." He cocked a warning eyebrow at Xander, already knowing that Spike wouldn't talk to anyone about anything he shouldn't.

"Your secret is safe with me. But, it's just money, right? We aren't trafficking drugs, or weapons, right? Though weapons are awfully handy where we come from." Xander looked from Lex to Spike and back to Lex, trying to see if there was anything going on between the lines. He might as well have tried to coerce a confession out of a brick wall, since both men before him could hide emotion, and secrets, better than anyone. He gave up. "So, Lex, what on earth are you watching? I thought people with more money than the GDP of several nations didn't watch tacky science fiction movies."

"Just because I can buy an island chain and name it after me doesn't mean I can't enjoy a really good bad movie every now and then. Besides, I wasn't expecting you today. Clark is coming over at some point today, and he likes them. Something about bad plots, terrible acting, and atrocious special effects turns him on in a very good way. All the better for me."

Doing his characteristic drawing-his-hands-together-and-separating-them-with-his-index-fingers-extended thing, Xander exclaimed, "What?!"

"Clark. Bad movies. Horny. Make-out sessions." Lex could be damn patronizing when he wanted to be. "Shall I draw you a diagram?"

Spike thought he was going to die laughing. If that were possible. The look on Xander's face was priceless.

"No, I'm uh, just confused. Whenever there're any pictures of you out somewhere, you're with women. Very pretty women. In expensive dresses with lots of jewelry."

"And?" If Lex's eyes ever shone with mirth, this was one of those times.

"Where do people named `Clark' fit into that?"

"After the event is over, or before it begins. Usually in here, or my bedroom. Sometimes in my office. Any place we feel like expressing our physical attraction toward each other."

"Sorry I asked." Xander fell silent, confused as all hell.

"Spike, you were right. He's more fun to play with than any interactive game I own. Thank you for bringing him here."

"No problem. When we aren't fighting over the same girl, or battlin' a demon, or trying to kill each other, Xander here can be okay. You know, for Xander. Not the best roommate in the world, though."

"Thank you, Spike. Your approval of me validates my existence. And if anyone gets to complain about our past living situations, it's me."

"And he's sarcastic. Nice catch. But of course, you two aren't together at all." Lex knew that unlike himself, Spike was not into innocence. Killing it, yes, fucking it, no. And teasing this Xander guy was fun. It was so easy. He knew Spike had zero sexual interest in the same gender (though talk of that Angel fellow raised some interesting questions).

Any further comments were cut off by Clark's entrance to the room. "Hey, Lex, I brought over a couple new movies to..." He stopped talking when he saw that he and Lex weren't alone. "To uh, watch." Clark shoved his hands, full of video cassettes, behind his back. He looked at the blonde and the guy next to him, then back to Lex, who smirked at something. "Hi. I'm Clark. Who are you?"

"Spike. This here is Xander. And don't worry, we know all about you and Lex, at least, I've known almost since it started, so you don't need to act all coy. And if bad movies get you off, so be it."

Clark swallowed audibly and turned pink. "Um, great?" He turned to look at Xander. "Hey, I think I have that shirt. And is your name short for `Alexander'?" The Californian nodded. "Doesn't anybody go by `Alex' anymore?" Clark raised his eyebrows at the two Alexanders in the room.

"Nah, `Xander's' way cooler. Gives me the edge. Over what I'm not quite sure." He ran the fingers of one hand through his hair.

"And `Lex' flows much more smoothly with `Luthor' than `Alex' does. One syllable is always easier than two. Especially when people are calling your name out in ecstasy." Lex gave Clark a very pointed look.

Clark turned the color of the very fake blood in Lex's squid movie. Lex loved to make the boy squirm. It was so cute.

Clark looked over at Spike and Xander. Lex had mentioned having a friend named Spike. Clark had tried to pry, but Lex wouldn't let him. Clark studied Xander more closely. He really did think he had that shirt, and the jeans looked as worn as any pair he owned. Brown hair that looked like it hadn't been brushed that day. Xander. Lex. Clark studied Lex. Light blue button-down shirt that brought out the color of his eyes. Black pants that weren't quite jeans. Light reflecting warmly off of his naked scalp. Two Alexanders, two very different looking men. From what Clark could garner from first impressions, they were very different acting, too.

"Clark, if you stare at me any harder, you're going to drill holes in me." Lex wondered why Clark always looked so guilty when he said things like that.

"Sorry, Lex. It's just that you have the same name and yet look so different. You know, some times people attribute certain characteristics to a name, but you guys just seem to be complete opposites."

"Now now, not everything is in a name. Though, I guess mine is." Spike smirked and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Spike, Spike, do we really need to hear this story again? You. When you were still a full-fledged," Xander looked at Clark, who had a blank look. "Um, criminal. Tortured your victims with railroad spikes. It's ancient history." Now Clark just looked confused.

Xander liked Sunnydale, if for nothing else than everyone he talked to knew everything else he did about vampires and demons and such. This Clark kid didn't look like the type who needed to know that humans were not the only intelligent creatures on the planet. After thinking a moment, Xander modified his thought into `sentient creatures.' He didn't want to give things like Spike too much credit.

"Well, not that I put too much faith in those kinds of things, but what does `Alexander' mean? Either of you know?" Clark turned to Lex for an answer.

"It's usually described as meaning protector or defender of mankind." Lex shifted his weight. "I'm not quite sure how that applies to me right now, but in the future I expect to fit that description."

Spike grinned. "Oh, please, Lex. I know you want the Presidency some day, but no politician has been described as a protector of mankind. They're too involved in their politics and their money. You're my friend and all, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to give the prize to Xander here."

Clark looked confused. If he wasn't careful, one of these days his face was going to freeze that way. "Lex, you want to be President? Since when?"

"If it weren't too cliched, I'd say birth. But yes, Clark, one day in the future I plan on running. I have the capital and the connections. My own company should be huge by then. I have nothing to lose."

"Spike, what do you mean Xander here is more of a protector than Lex? Lex has been a great friend to me since he moved here," (Clark ignored a knowing look from Spike) "and he's made great strides for the town. He'll only do more in the future." Clark strode over to Lex and gripped his hand possessively. "What could Xander have possibly done in wherever you're from to make him more of a protector than Lex?"

Xander coughed loudly. "Spike, is this really appropriate conversation? Do the words secret identity mean anything to you?"

Spike rolled his eyes. "Xander, obviously Lex knows about Buffy. It's only a matter of time until Clark does, too." He turned to Clark. "Now, pretty farm boy. Have you ever heard of a vampire Slayer?" Clark shrugged his shoulders. "Okay then, crash course. One of our friends, a cute perky blonde with a bad attitude, is a vampire Slayer. Meaning she kills vampires and other evil-doers. We, along with a savvy group of do-gooders, help Buffy fight the forces of evil and such. For the last six years, Xander here has fought by her side. Why? Because he's stupid. Or brave. But mainly stupid. Just recently he stopped one of his friends, a very powerful witch with a grudge, from destroying the West coast all by himself. He's been beside Buffy trying to save the world from Apocalypse so many times, I'm startin' to lose count."

Clark just kind of stared. Lex joined him. "I had no idea that Sunnydale had its share of fully-human civilian champions. Clark is ours. He's saved my life on practically a weekly basis ever since I moved here. It's how we met." Clark flushed. He was still waiting for a good moment to tell Lex that he wasn't entirely a human civilian.

Spike shrugged dismissively. "So, you see, Lex, though Xander and I are often at odds, I'm going to have to take his side here. You're going to have to become a hell of a lot more of a philanthropist if you want to beat him."

Xander decided to break in at this point, since the words were so unlike anything Spike had said before he was almost afraid that Spike was going to break out in song. Or confess his undying love or something. The last time either of those things happened, lives changed, and not necessarily for the better. "Hey guys, no problem here. It's just a name! My parents liked it, your parents liked it, no worries." He smiled weakly at Lex, who bristled. "What does `Luthor' mean, anything? My last name, Harris, just means `son of Harry.' Which is weird because that's not my dad's name."

Lex managed to look uncomfortable but also pleased with something. "The version I could find, with an `e-r' instead of the `o-r,' means warrior. And I can assure you that though I am not Alexander the Great, I do have fighting in my blood and no doubt my future." He turned to Xander, who looked very uncomfortable. "But I guess you're a warrior, too."

Xander put his hands up in front of him, as if to protect himself. "Hey now, I take orders from Buffy and when I'm not too afraid to carry them out, I try my best to fight so I don't die or lose an eye or something. I guess I succeeded in that."

Clark could feel Lex tense, and there was already enough tension in the room. Well, except for Spike, who looked like he was watching a movie, waiting for the action to start. "Well, they're just names. Mine happens to mean `scholar,' and I'm no scholar. I do well, but I don't work really hard at it or read all the time."

"You're right, Clark. It is just a name. Spike is the only one of us who earned his name rather than having it bestowed upon him." Lex pulled Clark over to the couch, sat them down, and turned off the squid movie, which appeared to be wrapping up. "Now, I have an extensive movie library that includes more than movies about giant animals that attack people. Someone pick one."

The four men finally picked a comedy that had nothing to do with warriors, saviors, aliens, or vampires. It was some college movie about sex, or drinking, or sororities, or something. Xander remarked that he missed a lot by not going to college. Lex thought about his own college days and figured that Xander hadn't missed much unless he was into random drunken or drug-induced hook-ups (well, and the studying thing).

Eventually they sat down to a dinner that Lex's cook prepared for them. Spike got pigs' blood without even having to ask (Lex deciding his staff needed a raise for the effort); he knew he liked Lex for a reason. This unexpected event sparked another explanation to Clark, who seemed to take in stride the fact that he only recently learned that vampires existed, let alone shared meals with humans. After dinner, they again returned to the entertainment room to play some pool. Lex, showing his prowess at billiards if not being a warrior or savior, won every game, even the ones where he was teamed up with Clark, who could rescue people with ease and yet couldn't manage to sink a ball in a pocket. He usually did much better when it was just the two of them.

Spike, frustrated with Xander's inability to play well, made some rude comments to him, which resulted in more comments about Xander's sexuality, which just fueled a fire. Xander threatened to stake Spike with a cue, so Lex had to separate them. It was getting late anyway, so they just decided to call it a night. Lex showed Xander and Spike to their rooms (deciding to put them in separate wings of the mansion just in case), and brought Clark back to his own.

Lex opened the doors on his entertainment console that was along one wall, revealing a 32-inch TV and VCR/DVD set-up. He popped in one of the videos that Clark had brought over and had magically found its way to the bedroom. His staff members really could use raises.

He sat down on his bed against the headboard, spread his legs, and pulled Clark down in between them. He rested his chin over Clark's shoulder, and Clark leaned his head back to give Lex room.

Lex took the invitation to kiss the corner of Clark's jaw. "Mmm. So, what are we watching?"

Clark sunk further into Lex's embrace. "Something with giant spiders. I think I saw it once on MST3K."

Lex raised his eyebrows, not caring that Clark couldn't actually see his expression. "You actually rented something that was on MST3K?"

"Well, not all of the movies they trash are bad. If I remember correctly, this one was pretty good. In a not-so-bad-I-wanted-to-laugh-hysterically-the-whole-time way. Now be quiet or you'll miss the beginning."

Lex returned his focus the screen, which now featured some sort of green ooze attacking a spider. Or maybe the spider was swimming in it. The film was grainy so it was kind of hard to tell. "Of course. I'm sure the plot to this one is so complex that if I miss one second I'll be completely lost. I'll try not to blink."

"Don't be such a wiseass, Lex. It's not attractive. I thought Xander was gonna go all Xena on you or something earlier."

"Xena? Interesting choice. I would have said Conan or Terminator."

"Schwarzenegger fetish much?"

"No. Just the first two action films to pop into my head. And please. Xander may have more experience being a protector or warrior, but you know he is no match for me. I've discussed him with Spike. Without Buffy or Willow to give him strength, he's not much. He's got spunk, or something, but if he's by himself, he's clueless. I have a destiny Clark, be it as a protector or a warrior. From what I've heard, everyone in Spike's pseudo-crowd back in California is lucky to still be alive. Some of them aren't any more, while others are battling personal demons."

Clark shifted to he could look at Lex better. "Oh, like you've never fought a personal demon or two."

"I'm better, Clark. I feel like I've finally found myself here in Smallville. I have my plant, people seem to accept me better and actually trust me, and I have you." Lex could feel Clark smile as the boy turned back to the TV.

"By the way, where's your dad?" Even though Lionel was blind, Clark was terrified that he would walk in on them and know everything. He wasn't ready for that. Part of him wasn't entirely sure he was ready for the relationship at all. Another part, though, couldn't imagine himself anywhere else.

"He's in Metropolis for the weekend for a LutherCorp function. I'm not sure of the specifics. And when do you have to be home by?"

"Oh, my parents are away for the weekend, too. Some wedding for some old friends that I don't think I've ever met. So I'm free to spend the night."

"Do your parents know that you're over here? With the intention of committing acts of a sexual nature with someone six years your senior?"

"Nope to both. I have to be home to do chores around the farm, but other than that I'm free to do whatever I want. But I didn't want to give my parents heart attacks before the wedding, so I didn't tell them my plans for the weekend."

"I suppose that's for the best. Though, unlike you, I can't wait for my father to discover that we're an item. Or whatever we're calling ourselves. I'm trying to time it so that he will have a heart attack."

"He may be a jerk, Lex, but he's still your dad."

"So I should have all the warm feelings for him that you have for your dad? No, thank you. Now hush up. I want to see what's going to happen to that cute, shapely blonde who's skinny-dipping near where the spider is."

The blonde swam a few laps back and forth across a small pond, until she saw the spider on the shore. She proceeded to run to the other shore, screaming her head off. The spider overtook her and crushed her.

"Ahhhh. What's a good horror movie without some gratuitous nudity?" Clark could feel Lex lightly tracing his abs through his T-shirt.

"It's always girls though. Why do we always have to see tits instead of cock?" Lex could sense that Clark felt his caresses, so he rubbed harder.

"Don't you have porn you could watch for that? At least here there's some semblance of a plot." Clark melted further into Lex. "And you go both ways, too, right?"

"Yes, but still." Lex broke his sarcastic promise to Clark and started paying more attention to the heat of Clark's body than to the movie.

Clark moved his head again so that Lex had better access to his neck (which Lex took advantage of), but he still watched the movie. He could feel Lex growing hard against him, so he shifted forwards. They could play later, but now he wanted to watch. He was a bit wary of the other people in the house, too. At any time Spike or Xander could wander over, or up, or wherever they were in relation to each other, and catch them. Clark didn't care that both strangers knew that he and Lex had something going; he still didn't want to kiss and tell. Or provide visuals. Lex could do that on his own time. Or not.

Lex sighed, but, resigned to watching a giant spider eat people, or crush them, or whatever the fuck it was supposed to be doing to them, settled back onto Clark's shoulder. Stupid monster movies and Clark's infatuation with them. At some point he was going to have to find something else, of a shorter duration, which turned Clark on as much. However, he knew that his patience would be rewarded well at the completion of the movie. He smiled in anticipation.

Xander justifiably had trouble sleeping. He was in a strange bed, in a strange, creepy house, that was owned by a strange rich guy that was his age and yet light-years away from him. Because he was awake, he had no trouble noticing when Spike slipped into his room.

"Xander, are you awake?" Spike's attempt at a whisper probably would have woken Xander even if he had been deep into his delta waves.

"Yes. What do you want? Sneaking into peoples' rooms while they're asleep is about as far from cool as you can get."

"But you weren't asleep. Anyway, I thought I heard something. And I definitely smell something that shouldn't be around. Kind of musky, like a swamp. But it keeps moving, so it's got to be alive. I may have seen something around the back yard, but it was in the shadows at the edge of the motion detectors and even I couldn't make it out. You hear anything?"

Xander thought about it. To be honest, he had heard something outside, but because they weren't in Sunnydale he hadn't thought anything of it. It sounded kind of like a soft thumping, but that could have been anything.

"So are you commin' with me to see what it is or are you goin' to just lie there and wait for it to eat you?"

"We're not in Sunnydale, Spike. Random things don't just come out and eat people in normal towns."

Spike raised his eyebrows, a gesture Xander could barely make out in the gloom. "You really have no idea where we are, do you? Smallville may in fact be even worse than Sunnydale in that respect. You ever hear of the meteor shower that happened here back around 13 years ago?" Spike saw Xander nod. His night vision was far better than a human's. "Ever since then, some weird happenings have gone on in this `burgh. People having special powers, cancer rate increasing, animals behaving strangely. At least when the trouble is a demon, I usually know how to fight it. Meteor freaks aren't quite part of my resume at this point."

Xander shrugged. It's not like he was sleeping, anyway. He got out of the massive bed and pulled on a pair of pants and boots, and a t-shirt. He bowed his head and gestured toward the door with his hand. "Lead the way, oh wondrous knower of all things wacky."

Smartass, Spike thought. "The scent is definitely getting stronger. Let's go get Lex and Clark and find if Lex has any weapons stored around this museum. At least at Buffy's anything we need is always at her place or the Magic Box."

Spike seemed to know his way around the mansion fairly well. Xander had wanted to ask how he knew Lex in the first place, but he had chickened out. Every time he had inquired about Spike in the past he had learned something he'd rather not have known.

After three or four hallways and a flight of stairs, they finally came to Lex's room. Xander hesitated before he knocked. "Do you really want to go in there? What if they're... you know?"

Spike sighed heavily. "They're two young men, not two old people, and you wouldn't believe some of what I've seen... Just bloody knock on the door!"

Xander knocked. A sleep-choked voice called out, "This better be important."

Spike answered, "It is, mate. Possible meteor-related incident. There are spooky noises and it smells like a swamp out there. I suspect another animal attack." They heard a loud curse. A few seconds later they could hear padding footsteps.

Lex opened the heavy wooden door, clad only in pajama pants. His skin looked pale in the moonlight from the bedroom windows. "Now. What?"

"We need to find whatever weapons you may have, unless housing meteor freaks is something you do in your spare time to help meet your rent."

"Do you know what we're up against?"

Clark, dark hair sleep-tousled and dressed only in boxers, came up behind Lex, rubbing at his eyes. He put his arms around Lex's waist and rested his head on Lex's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Spike tried to visualize what he had seen in the backyard. It had looked green, and ran sort of hunched over and in short bursts. Almost... like it was hopping. "I really can't be sure. But I figured that we'd be better off finding out and taking the advantage than waiting for it to eat us."

Lex yawned. "Give us two minutes. We'll meet you downstairs, three rooms to the left. Take what you think we'll need." Lex shut the door.

"Cryptic much?" Xander and Spike followed Lex's directions, only to find themselves in a room decorated completely with ornamental swords and other weapons, some in glass cases, some hanging from the wall. Xander clapped his hands together. "Well, would you look at that. I guess ol' moneybags here has some weapons after all."

Spike's eyes were huge. "Yeah, I guess you might say that. I never knew Lex was a collector of antique weapons, or these modern ones for that matter. I guess it never came up." He picked up a sword that was in a holder on top of a glass case filled with knives. "Though they look like he takes care of them, keeps them sharp. Some of them don't even look that old."

Xander shook his head. "I guess you can never really know your crazy billionaires."

"We prefer the term eccentric. It's less tabloid magazine." Xander and Spike looked up at the doorway.

Lex and Clark stood in it, both of them now dressed in pajama pants and sneakers, while Lex had on a white undershirt and Clark a black one. Lex surveyed the room in a calculated way. Clark just looked awed. Lex explained, "I usually keep this room off the tour. It might give the wrong people ideas. And no, it usually doesn't come up."

They were busy trying to decide what to use when one of Lex's servants appeared, silently entering the room. "Sir." Lex looked up from the broadsword he was studying. "There appears to be something in the outdoor pool."

Lex looked at her blankly. "Something?"

"Something that resembles an amphibian. Possibly a frog."

"Then skim it out. We have bigger problems right now."

"That is my point, sir."

Lex, frustrated by now, finally asked, "Just what are you trying to tell me?"

The servant looked nervous, but spoke smoothly. "The frog-like creature in the pool is the size of a Labrador Retriever."

The four men in the room blinked simultaneously. Xander asked, "Come again?"

The servant explained, "I think it would be best if you all saw for yourselves."

Lex absently told her that they would take care of it and dismissed her, thinking that he should reward her placid demeanor in the face of such weird occurrences, especially since she wasn't a Smallville native. It took a lot to not lose your mind in this town.

Taking what they could carry, the men headed out to the pool. Lex muttered something about meteor freaks. Clark stared at the floor. Xander's grip on his sword left him white-knuckled. Spike just smirked. He had faced far worse things than giant amphibians. He knew Xander had, too, but he guessed to a mortal, all situations were life or death.

The men exited the mansion through the massive set of glass French doors that led to the pool area. At this point, they could hear splashing. They stopped in their tracks when they could clearly see a form in the shallow end of the pool.

It was definitely a frog. Somewhat misshapen and huge, but a frog nonetheless. It was greener than it should have been. It gave a loud, sickly-sounding croak.

"So," Xander inquired, "who wants first crack at Kermit here?" He readied his sword.

"Do we have to kill it?" Clark looked upset.

Lex frowned. "It looks like it's suffering. Radiation poisoning, maybe. Letting it live is probably more cruel."

Spike opened his mouth to add something, but at that moment the frog launched itself out of the pool and onto the deck. Water dripped down its slick body. It croaked again, the sound echoing off the windows.

It stared at the company. It stared back. Apparently sizing up the weapons, the tension, and its dislike of bipedal mammals, the frog leapt at the men. Somehow it had developed fangs, which it bared upon lift-off.

Xander shrieked something unintelligible and stepped backwards. Spike blinked in surprise. Lex and Clark simultaneously stepped to the side and swung their weapons. The blades barely scraped the surface of its skin.

"Interesting," Lex mused. "Somehow the meteor rocks have toughened up its skin."

Clark, innocent farm boy, remarked, "Gee, I wonder how that could have happened." Lex neglected to comment as the frog chose to attack him individually. Stupid bare skin reflecting the stupid lights...

Lex brought his broadsword down on the beast's head. The skin broke, but healed right away. Xander and Spike came up behind the creature and swung their blades. The monster lurched backwards at the contact and emitted the amphibian equivalent of a snarl. Clark tried to plunge his blade into the beast's neck, but the sound caught him off guard. Taking advantage of the distraction, the frog skittered away.

Lex lunged at the creature from an awkward two-handed engarde, fencing lessons coming in handy for once, and put enough weight behind the pommel to force the tip of the blade into the frog. Taking advantage of the moment, Clark, Xander, and Spike gave their blows. Spike had picked up a piece of pool equipment (piping, or something like it) and took to bludgeoning it with that. The frog gave a half-hearted yet evil-sounding moan and collapsed on the deck, blood oozing from its wounds.

Always the safety man, Xander gave another deep thrust through the eyes, to make sure the creature was dead. "So, uh, Spike, would this be an example of the weird things that happen in Smallville?" He ran his hand through his hair, ignoring that it was covered in frog gunk.

"That'd be one, yes." Spike kicked the carcass. "Still bloody odd, though."

"Yeah," Clark chimed in. "Even in Smallville, animals being affected by the rocks is weird. Usually it's just humans. This frog must have eaten them or swam through them or something. They have permeable skin, after all." Clark gave the cadaver a quick X-ray. There did appear to be some meteor rock inside (which would explain the faint nausea he was feeling), but not too much. It was just one of those things.

Lex was thinking of something witty to say when out of nowhere a second monstrous frog appeared and of all people chose to tackle Clark. Xander and Spike were taken completely off guard, and just stood there agape watching Clark thrash underneath the abomination on top of him. They half thought that there was no way they could help Clark without Clark's own freakish strength he must have (evident from the way he wielded his weapon in one hand). The beast gave one of those hideous croaks, and sank its misbegotten fangs into Clark's shoulder.

Lex heaved his broadsword with all the adrenaline-induced strength he could muster and brought it down over the creature's back, breaking its spine. He brought the weapon down again, just as hard, severing the spinal column. Even though the skin was for some reason tough, the spinal column was not much stronger than that in an organism of that size. Xander and Spike finally sprung to action again and helped Lex finish off the creature.

Lex dropped his sword and shoved the dying amphibian off of Clark. Clark squirmed as far from the thing as he could, grimacing with pain and clutching his shoulder. Lex, who knew that the meteor rocks made Clark sick but didn't know why (and wasn't sure at this point that he wanted to become informed), gripped him under the arms and pulled him father away. He hoped that Xander and Spike hadn't noticed that the wound in Clark's shoulder had already healed. The light was pretty poor, so that would work in their favor.

"Good job, mate. Didn't know you had it in you." Spike clapped Lex on the back. He had, in fact, noticed that there was blood smeared on Clark that didn't seem to come from anywhere, but why bring it up? He was just glad none of them were dead. Well, that none of the humans were dead.

Lex barely acknowledged the compliment, he was so intent on making sure Clark was okay. He knew that Clark wasn't used to being weak. One of these days he would learn why, but it certainly didn't matter at the present time. Finally Clark opened his eyes and sat up slowly. Lex greeted him with a closed-mouth kiss, figuring that Xander might have a heart attack if he saw any tongue.

Xander went over to them and waited for them to finish. "Hey, Lex." Lex stood and turned towards him, wary of any comment from the strange Californian. "Did you see? I did that panicking thing that I do when I'm caught by surprise. It's gotten me nearly killed more times than I want to count. I get scared, and then I don't know what to do, and Buffy has to save me. It's not terribly manly. Yeah, I've gotten better over the years, but this kind of stuff is still a challenge. You, you stepped up when you had to, and you weren't afraid. You're the real protector of mankind. It takes more than just doing what you're told. It takes bravery and action. So even if I've helped save the world, you've saved what's important to you and you did it without preamble or fear. You're a defender, Lex, you've proven that. And you're a warrior, too. And you always will be. So didn't listen to what Blondie here tells you. You're a better protector than I am."

Lex's mouth quirked into something that passed for a smile. "Thank you, Xander. And don't sell yourself short. I've heard some of what you've accomplished in Sunnydale. You're more important than you may think, especially since you don't have supernatural powers like everyone else does." Xander smiled at the words.

Lex hoisted Clark to his feet. Clark looked down at the giant frog distastefully. He then glanced at Lex, who had somehow developed a bruise on his side. He smirked briefly, since he knew he was the only one who could see it.

Spike looked from one frog to the other. "So, what do we do with them? I don't suppose there's a museum or carnival around here where people will pay to see the mounts."

Clark smiled. "No, though Chloe may want them for the Torch office. Or maybe to decorate the entrance, kind of like the stone lions at the New York City Public Library."

Xander poked one with his shoe. "They aren't particularly statuesque, though."

"Perhaps she'd be better off with some photographs." At Lex's words, the servant who had spoken to them before reappeared with a digital camera. Damn, she's good, Lex thought. She handed it to Lex without a word, and returned inside as Lex snapped a few shots of the amphibians from different angles. "We can print these out and give them to her tomorrow. For now, the carcasses can stay here. If there were others out there, they probably would have attacked us by now. And I don't know about the rest of you, but I could use some sleep."

Clark confirmed, "Yeah, me too. Sleep." He peered slyly at Lex.

"Yeah, sleep sounds good. Though I don't know if it will come, what with all the excitement and fear and such. And a shower might be nice." Xander felt even less safe now than he did before Spike had brought him out of his room. Big creepy room in the big creepy house with mutated animals wandering around outside... He shrugged to himself. He'd dealt with far worse. He had shared his basement with Spike, after all. And not even the remotely good Spike he knew now.

"I think I'll grab a bite to eat then wander back. All this battlin' worked up an appetite." Spike hoisted his weapon and turned back to the doors. The others followed suit.

Clark and Lex returned to Lex's massive bedroom, Clark practically dragging the billionaire by his hand. "Well, Clark, that was quite an advent-" Clark shoved Lex up against the door, pinning his arms to his side. He started to kiss him roughly, his tongue plundering in Lex's mouth. Lex tried to push him away to speak, and Clark eventually consented. "Clark," Lex gasped, "what... did the experience with the frog turn you... it did, didn't it. You're getting off on it! It was like one of those awful movies, but in real life!"

Clark, who had been nipping at Lex's neck, answered, "Oh yeah. It was so hot. And I could see your muscles flexing under your shirt, and sweat on your brow, and you saved my life bravely and selflessly, and God, I want you now..." Clark's voice got deeper by the syllable. He thrust his hands underneath Lex's shirt and ripped it off. Lex moaned as Clark licked his nipples, causing them to harden.

Lex, fighting every natural instinct coursing through his body, pushed Clark's hands away. "Clark." Clark didn't seem to notice Lex, he was so intent on worshipping his body. "Clark!" Finally Clark looked up and his eyes lost a bit of their hungry look, but he still kept his body pressed against Lex's.

"What?? Isn't this what you wanted? We've put off having sex because I wasn't ready to! Now I am!"

"Clark, do you really want to, or are you still in overdrive because of the fight? I don't want you to have sex just because of one event that turned you on. Look, this goes against my characteristic sexual predator instincts, but I actually like you, Clark, a lot, and I don't want to ruin anything by rushing into things too fast." Lex finally pushed himself away from Clark, walked over to the bed, and sat down to pull his shoes off. Clark sat down beside him.

After a minute in which he felt he had been slapped, Clark realized what Lex was saying. "Okay. I guess that makes sense. I kind of feel drunk, like on adrenaline or something. That's a bad way to have sex for the first time. Maybe it's okay for some guys, but I really like you, too, Lex. I think I'm getting some biological desires confused, like, aggression with arousal, or something." Clark sighed and pulled off his own shoes, shirt, and pants. His erection still jutted out, tenting his boxers.

"You know, Clark, we can still go father than kissing, massage, and hand jobs..."

Clark's eyes were hungry again as he caught on to what Lex was insinuating. He leaned back on his hands and thrust his head back dramatically. Lex grinned, taking in the beautiful sight before him. From this angle he couldn't even see the blood on Clark's shoulder.

Lex straddled Clark and kissed him deeply, thrusting against him at the same time. He licked his way down Clark's torso, bringing each nipple to a peak as Clark writhed underneath him. He slid off the bed as Clark spread his knees father apart. Lex trailed his hands down Clark's stomach and into the waistband of his shorts. He slid the boxers off Clark's sweaty legs.

Lex rocked back onto his heels just to admire Clark. Clark looked back at him through half-lidded eyes. Lex had wanted Clark for so long, but Clark was new to the whole concept of sleeping with another guy (not that he had had any experience with girls, either), and he didn't want to do anything too soon and freak him out. Lex had bided his time, finally rewarded when Clark realized his feelings for Lex and understood that they were normal. And Lex didn't want to rush anything. With anyone else, he would have fucked out him or her and moved on (giving himself extra points if he had been their first time), but Clark saved his life, and was more than a warm body to push out of his bed in the morning. Clark liked Lex, not Luthor. In turn, Lex respected Clark too much to coerce him into something for which he wasn't ready. He still wanted to fuck Clark through the mattress, and hear him groan in pleasure and dig his hands into the sheets, but Lex wanted it to be more than, as Clark said, a drunken tryst. He was trying to be a new man, and this was the ultimate test of self control.

He took Clark's cock in his hand and gripped it tightly. He stroked it for a minute or so, alternating with his hand and tongue. As Clark started to move to the rhythm he set, he abruptly took the head in his mouth and sucked. Clark's eyes flew open then slammed shut again as he groaned. Taking that as encouragement, Lex opened his throat and took Clark in as deep as he could. He did his best to silently persuade Clark to fuck his mouth, and Clark took the hint more than willingly.

With one hand Lex massaged Clark's testes, earning him a mewling sound from the gorgeous boy he was deep-throating. Clark's thrusts were getting erratic, and because he didn't want Clark to finish quite so soon Lex clamped his free hand at the base of Clark's cock. Clark clutched the bedspread as if it were the only thing holding him to the world, his body squirming in between his clamped fists. Eventually Lex wanted to breathe and reward Clark for his patience, so he took the hand at the base of Clark's cock and started grinding the bit that wasn't already within him, and with the other hand he pressed into Clark's perineum. He simultaneously swallowed, working his throat around the rest of Clark's cock.

Clark, who had thought that Lex's hand jobs had been wonderful, saw light as he finally reached orgasm. He cried out Lex's name, at least the part he could form (and yeah, "Alex" would have been much harder to scream in his state), and thrust one more time, ejaculating into Lex. Lex, well-prepared, swallowed the fluid and pulled off. He climbed onto the bed to lie next to Clark, who still had a death-grip on the spread.

"So how was it?" Lex asked, trailing the fingers of one hand down the well-defined muscles that comprised Clark's abdomen.

Clark rolled his head to look directly at Lex, eyes only half-open once again. "You were there. You should know it was phenomenal." He kissed Lex lightly, not quite able to move yet. He was also having trouble keeping himself planted to the bed, and this was a very bad time to finally tell Lex that he wasn't human. Floating above the bed, as his body evidently wanted to do, was probably going to ruin the moment they were having.

Clark hadn't pegged Lex as a cuddler, but there he was, pulling close to Clark. As a result, Clark could feel Lex's erection poking into his hip. Once he felt as though gravity had rejoined him, he turned on his side, with his head propped on one hand while the other traced the bruise on Lex's side. He reached to Lex's cock through the pajama pants (why wasn't Lex naked yet?), and Lex turned onto his back, silently willing Clark to do whatever he wanted to, within reason.

Clark stripped Lex and did his best to return the pleasure that Lex brought to him. It was his first time performing fellatio (and receiving it), so it was a little awkward and he almost choked when Lex came, but he knew it didn't matter. Even bad head was still head. And with the reaction he got from Lex, it apparently wasn't even bad. Afterwards Clark collapsed on top of Lex, exhausted. Lex put his arm around Clark, and both of them drifted off to sleep.

"Thanks again, mate. I'm sure I'll find a way to repay you in the future." Spike shook Lex's hand, the other clutching a stack of bills. These he handed to Xander. "Take this to Buffy. You all will need it."

"Well, where are you going? Aren't you coming back with me?" Xander looked confused, an expression that was not unfamiliar to his face.

"No. I have some business to take care of. I'm not sure when I'll be back, and I can't guarantee that you'll recognize me when I am. Take the money to Buffy."

It was the next day, late afternoon and partially cloudy, and the two Californians were preparing to head back to Sunnydale. At least, Xander was heading back to Sunnydale, while Spike was heading off to somewhere else. Somewhere apparently kind of sinister.

Lex glanced at Xander but returned his eyes to Spike. "No problem. And though I doubt you will reimburse me for the finances, I have no doubt you will repay me. You always do." There was a knowing look to his eyes that Xander and Clark chose to ignore, while Spike gave a slight nod. "And you're sure you can't stay longer? You're welcome to. Both of you."

"No, mate. I have to be on my way. Things to see, people to do, or some such thing." Spike glanced quickly at Clark. He could see what Lex saw in the boy, but still didn't understand the relationship.

"And I'm apparently driving a thousand or so miles by myself, so I better get on my way. I'll make better time tonight, without the sun in my eyes and less traffic on the road." Xander shook Clark and Lex's hands. "Thanks for putting me up. I had an interesting time. Maybe next time it could be slightly less interesting?"

"I'll see what I can do, but this is Smallville, so I can't guarantee anything." Lex walked his two guests to the door, Clark in tow. Spike looked a bit odd with every bit of skin covered up with his jacket, gloves, or helmet, but better safe than sorry. There wasn't bound to be long stretches of shade on any Kansas roads. Xander got into his car with a wave, tossing the money onto the passenger seat. Spike climbed on the motorcycle that Lex was letting him borrow (though both of them knew that it was really a gift), gave a quick wave, and sped out to parts unknown, as Xander left in his car in the opposite direction of Spike.

Clark and Lex returned inside the mansion, glad that the visitors had left. They were cool and all, but Clark was more interested in what Lex could give him that wasn't worth any monetary value. Though Lex should have no problem selling himself should he choose to... Last night had been great. This morning had also been great; he was able to get rid of his morning wood without even having to touch it, and he was able to happily return the favor for Lex. He could only imagine how wonderful it would be when they actually had sex.

"So, they were nice." Clark sat down at the island in Lex's kitchen, grabbing an apple from the bowl in the middle of it. "How long have you known Spike?" He bit into the apple.

Lex sat down next to Clark. "Hmm. Quite a few years. It's a little fuzzy, but I think it was a bar when I was in England. He was, to be honest, looking for a kill, but for whatever reason we wound up talking and I gave him money to not eat me. For some reason he actually didn't eat me, or even bite me. It stayed that way for a while, but he hardly ever asks me for anything any more. Not money, anyway. He just wants to hang out and enjoy someone else's company. I think he gets tired of people after a while, and comes to see me when he wants someone with a brain to talk to. And I enjoy his company; he has some interesting insight into some projects of mine. I've never met Xander before. He seems nice enough."

"Yeah, a little strange, though. I feel bad for him, fighting in Sunnydale with all those people with powers and stuff, while he's just some crazy kid who got mixed up in it all."

"Said the boy who manages to get himself in more scrapes than a rookie skateboarder."

Clark flushed, but didn't say anything. If Lex couldn't see that Clark was special, then he wasn't going to say anything. In turn, Lex watched Clark chew and swallow. If Clark was going to keep whatever secrets he had secret, he was going to have to watch what he said. One of these days he was going to say something stupid like that around someone who wasn't his friend, or in front of Lionel, and nothing good will come out of it.

"Besides, Clark, we Alexanders are defenders of mankind. It's in our nature to be foolish and fight to protect those we care about, or in Xander's case, the world." Lex looked at Clark slyly, knowing that he had the boy's full attention. "You know you like it."

Just as mischievously, Clark replied, "Damn straight." Finishing the apple, he got up and threw the core away. He glanced out the window and noticed that the frog carcasses were indeed gone. "Where'd they go?" he asked Lex, gesturing outside.

"I had my staff take care of it. They set up a bonfire on the far end of the property to dispose of them. I'll take the most trusted members out tomorrow and look for any further signs of mutation on the property."

"Lex," Clark said, returning to his seat, "Smallville is going to get any less strange in the future... maybe your staff deserves a raise. You seem to expect an awful lot from them."

"You know, Clark," Lex said, getting up and turning Clark's chair around so he could straddle him, "I've been thinking the same exact thing."