Note: This goes out to anyone who dislikes Lana as much as I do. She drives me crazy, and not in a good way.

~Hmmm...~

Lex frowned as he realized he had been chewing on the end of his pen. He had thought himself long cured of that disgusting habit. Just one more thing affected by his newly actualized feelings. But under the circumstances, he supposed he welcomed the slip in light of what he had gained.

He returned the pen to the paper on his desk. He tapped it a few times as he fidgeted, another habit he thought he had gotten over. Damn. He finally got to actually writing, even though he still had no idea what he wanted to say. He half-heartedly started to scratch something out.

Thank you for wearing a piece of that death-rock so that he couldn't get near you before he met me. *Apparently to him nothing says "true love*"* like the need to vomit and pass out whenever that "special someone*"* is near* (I've never claimed that he was bright). I still find it odd that you chose to remember your family by keeping their killer around your neck; perhaps you should try believing in yourself and not that evil bitch we call Luck...

Lex smiled. He couldn't send that, no matter how much he wanted to. He crossed out those words and tried again.

Thank you for wearing all of that pink princess clothing and make-up. He hates pink,* at least in those quantities*. If nothing else,* it just gets tiring after a while*. In case you were wondering,* there is such a thing as too girly*...

Well, that may be true, but he couldn't really send that either. It was apparently very hard to be truthful and not hurt someone's feelings sometimes. Fortunately, he wasn't often forced into such an adverse situation. He exhaled heavily as he tried again.

Thank you for ignoring him until you were both too deeply involved with other people or were otherwise being influenced by extenuating circumstances. Your timing has often proved to be impeccable in that respect. Similarly, thank you for turning the gorgeous sweet boy down time after time no matter what the situation, even though he was nothing but nice to you. Nothing to push someone away and towards true acceptance like years of rejection followed by a wake up call...

No, that wouldn't do, either. Yes, she was generally clueless, but perhaps that was some sort of a defense mechanism. Unless she kept hurting him because she's a sociopath. She didn't appear to be perfectly stable, after all. Obsessing over one's dead parents and communicating with their gravestones was not a sign of mental well-being.

Lex shifted back in his chair and stretched his legs out in front of him. What were the perfect words for this situation? He almost wished he had been a lit major. But not really. He tapped the pen against his lip for a minute or so, and then sat forward again.

Thank you for being put off by his reaction to the red meteor rock. Another instance of your impeccable timing when it comes to him; you do not seem to be attracted to him unless he isn't actually himself. That does wonders for his self esteem, by the way. Anyway,* he knew after that that he would need someone who could handle his dominant urges*,* be they intentional or not*. I believe I have proven myself adept at that...

Okay, he'd be killed if he said that, even though his murderer would be the person he was trying to defend. He knew that such information was far more than anyone needed or was allowed to know. Smallville might rejoice at his death, but he certainly wouldn't. And because of the circumstances, there would be scandal and controversy, which would shine even more negatively on him, dead as he'd be, and would draw unnecessary attention directly to those he wanted to protect. That entry joined the others in his crossed-off category. He began chewing on his pen again before bringing its tip back to the paper.

Thank you for constantly referring to the meteor shower and the death of your parents. Guilt is such a quirky emotion, isn't it. He's so vulnerable-looking when he feels guilty about you or the town; it just makes me want to eat him up and make both of us feel better. It just makes your presence that much more frustrating for both of us...

Okay, that would probably also result in his death. Another tragic, beautiful, angry-lover death, but death nonetheless. Lex sighed again. Apparently he disliked Lana even more than he thought he did; he wasn't often at a loss for words, especially when he actually had the time to write them down. He usually had at least one genuinely nice thing to say about someone once he knew them for a while, if he had made the effort to find something nice about them.

Thank you for actually proving that male twenty-something bald genius megalomaniacs are indeed less high-maintenance than teenaged girls. I suppose there is some delicious irony in that...

Lex drummed the tips of his fingers of his right hand on his desk as he once more slouched back in his chair. Frustrated and short on time as Clark was due any minute, he gave up and simply wrote Thank You on the card. He slipped it into the envelope that was addressed to Lana and contained the full deed and papers of ownership to the Talon, giving it to her so she was the sole owner and he no longer had a part in it, no strings attached. He figured that monetary and materialistic gifts often said more than he could put into words. Especially since in this instance his words were not going to be able to cut it. And, in general, non-sentient things were a hell of a lot easier.

It was the least he could do for the girl, since it was because of Clark's lack of success with the brunette that Clark was now his. At least, that was Lex's theory. She had played a good game, holding Clark's affection even after she realized it and spurned him, but no one defeats Lex Luthor. It had just taken Clark a while to understand that.