Warning: Drippy, sappy, unhappy Clark. High "gack" factor (as in, if I were watching this as a movie, I'd be saying "gack" a lot). I'm not sure what came over me.

Note: Italics indicate Clark's thoughts. Unbetaed, so it's all my fault.

Even though Clark was so upset he was still teary-eyed, he stopped dead in his tracks and just... looked.

He had somehow managed to run far enough north to see the aurora borealis, and it was mesmerizing. He wasn't cold but he shivered anyway, awed and cowed by the beauty of nature in its purest form, an event that could never be controlled by man. He sat down on a nearby rock to just observe, glad he was alone in the cold and could just think uninterrupted.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Running away wasn't very smart. His devil spoke up. Well what were you supposed to do, just sit there and watch as your father and lover argued over you and the situation? As your father beat the crap out of your lover? At least now they won't be able to kill each other.

Clark and Lex had decided to finally tell Clark's parents that they were together. The long-haul kind of together. They had managed to keep it secret for a while, but Lex could tell that the extra lies were really eating at Clark. And he could only find so many ways of distracting his pretty farmboy from his thoughts. Besides, considering the depth of their relationship at this point, it had to be done, and soon. It was just too hard to hide their feelings for each other all the time. And neither of them wanted to anymore.

So Clark had invited Lex over to dinner at the farm. And they had come out to the Kents. Perhaps Martha had figured out that something had to have been going on, since she had seemed to not be shocked and actually okay with it. For now, anyway. Clark figured that eventually she would come to the senses that all mothers gain after a while and would gently try to pry them (however unsuccessfully) apart. Unless, of course, she realized that nothing like that would work. Separation was hard enough now; they each felt that ache when the other wasn't around. Unless something drastic happened, they'd always be together. That was what "forever" meant, right?

Jonathan, well... Jonathan hadn't taken it very well at all. Just about as far from "well" as it could have possibly been. He had gone as red with anger as Clark usually did with embarrassment. Clark could see why when he realized that his father's knuckles were as white as the china they were eating off of as he clenched his fists tightly. Clark had tried to explain that what they were experiencing wasn't just some sort of perverse, tactile fling, that it was real. The big L. Lex had occasionally put in a few words to make Clark sound less like a poorly-written greeting card.

Jonathan, purposely not hearing anything either boy said (lately denial had been his most frequent state of mind-he wasn't blind, after all, but that didn't mean he had to see), had finally stood up fast enough to knock his chair flying, actually cracking part of it. Martha had tried to intervene, but Lex made sure to get in her way. With the livid, manic look in Jonathan's eyes, Lex didn't trust the older man to check his actions with whoever blocked him from his quest as he came around the table to the young man who he felt was ruining his son's future. "Luthor" was a disease, and Jonathan couldn't have his son catching it. If only he had listened, and opened his eyes, then he could have seen what he was trying to destroy, the beauty of their relationship, the purity of it.

Violently spitting a horrible stream of words including "pedophile," "Luthor," and "faggot," Jonathan had given in to his id and attacked Lex. And Lex, apparently giving in to his superego, had taken the beating. Until Clark finally was able to force himself to move and separate them. Okay, pitch his father into the living room and drag Lex outside and to the mansion, his one stop before continuing northward. Clark was going to have to ask Lex how he could possibly twist allowing the father of his lover to assault him into a manipulative attempt at somehow gaining the upper hand, because Clark was sure that that was what Lex was going to say he did. Usually Lex wasn't one to stand by and let himself be hurt. But then again, Clark was usually faster on his feet to save his lover. It was Lex after all. Apparently nothing in the universe was as it should have been.

Tears of sorrow still dripped down Clark's cheeks, occasionally making it all the way to the ground to form little holes in the snow. Panicked. I actually panicked. Throughout all the terrible things I've witnessed or experienced while living in Smallville, I've never panicked. I'm the town savior, for crying out loud. I save so many people from being hurt, and yet when it mattered, I fucking froze! How the hell long was Lex going to stand there and take the beating? He hasn't done anything wrong! I've always been there but not this time when it really mattered.

Then again, he had never been in love before. It was a new experience for both Lex and himself. Saving strangers was easy; it was saving the ones he loved that was hard, and he had also never had to choose between his lover and his father before. This time it was just too personal. And it had all happened so fast, and Clark's mind and body didn't always work at the same speeds nor well together.

He kicked at the snow in anguish and frustration. It just sucks being me! The poor geeky heroic alien. Poor geeky heroic teenaged alien. Yeah, my life sucks. Except for Lex. The one thing that's a pleasant, stable presence in my life, after mom and dad. But after tonight I can't claim that dad is too stable anymore.

Clark hung his head in his hands as he felt even more tears well up in his eyes as he thought about his Lex, his light, who tried so hard to fit in with the town that didn't want him. And now he had tried to fit into a family whose patriarch didn't want him. And his lover, who belonged to that family he was trying so very hard to join, that he needed to join, had just sat and watched, too stunned, too afraid, too offguard, too... something... to stand up and fight. Do anything. Just scream something to distract the violent parent from the foolishly brave (or just plain foolish) boy who was very deeply, intensely, involved with his son. His only, adopted son. All Clark wanted was for his family to accept his choices and welcome his lover, to get over that prejudice that ran through the whole town. But the town didn't matter, it was his family that did. And Lex was his family now, and he needed Lex to be accepted. Lying to his parents about his relationship had hurt so much, but now he hurt even more.

What am I going to do if they try to keep us apart? I can't be apart from Lex for more than a few hours now. What will they try to do? What can I do? I need Lex and he needs me, and they're just going to have to deal with it. They need to come around. They need to. It's not first love, it's the only love. Us. Together. Always. That won't change. It can't.

So now Lex was hurt with bruises and a potentially broken nose (Clark had been too destroyed to even check that out before fleeing). Jonathan was probably suffering merely from a bruised hand and possibly from guilt. He was a smart enough man in hindsight. He would eventually realize that he had flown off the handle. Martha was probably shocked into silence. Usually dinner wasn't so violent. Or maybe she had taken the upper hand and had tried to talk some sense into her husband. She wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea of Clark and Lex being a couple, but she couldn't have her husband and son fighting over this, hating each other over this. If what the boys had managed to say before Jonathan had acted so irrationally was true, she and Jonathan were going to lose their son to Lex if they couldn't accept it.

And she had never seen them together openly as a couple. If she had, she would be more understanding, since they so clearly belonged with each other. They made each other so happy. It would finally make sense to her why Clark looked so lost and alone lately when he was by himself on the farm. She would see that what they had was real. Though she may have been concerned with how consumed they were by each other. But that's just how powerful it was.

Clark rubbed at his eyes and returned them to the sky. He watched the interplay of lights, which he knew were caused by electrons in the atmosphere (science class may have been useful after all). He sat back on his rock, centering his weight so he could watch and admire more comfortably.

As they too often (though delightfully) did, his thought processes became centered on Lex.

The faint blue light reminded him of Lex's eyes when he tried to kid him but knew he wouldn't be able to. Clark managed a smile. Lex was so smart and worldly that Clark usually took whatever he said for scripture. But Lex liked to tease him, too, a genuine playful side that no one else got to ever see. Clark sighed happily. He sometimes got so lost in those deep blue eyes that were so expressive when they were allowed to be; he felt he could never leave, never escape, even if he for some reason wanted to. He could just stay there, focused on them, in them, forever.

The green reminded him of the felt on Lex's pool table. It was next to that that they had shared their first kiss (and ultimately other exchanges). It had been a surprisingly mutual attempt to get their feelings out in the open, both of them tired of hiding their emotions though also terrified that those emotions would be unrequited. And, well, other, more obvious physical problems deserved to be accomodated. Lex also had a sweater that same almost-emerald color, one that clung to him in all the right places. Clark wanted him to wear it all the time.

The red-violet reminded him of Lex's lips after a heavy make out session, over-worked and over-sensitive, or maybe Lex's skin when Clark worried it between his teeth for too long. He just couldn't help himself; he loved Lex's skin, loved to mark it, mark Lex as his own, not that there was anything to worry about. Lex was just as consumed with Clark as Clark was with Lex. The darker reddish hue where the light faded into the nighttime sky reminded him of Lex's dusky nipples, begging for his attention when it was elsewhere. And oh, how he loved to grant it. The way Lex tasted, the way Lex felt... like nothing else in the world. And it was all for Clark. He never wanted to let Lex go when they got their hands on, around, each other.

And the white reminded him of the way light reflected off of Lex's naked scalp when he was in a brightly lit room, drawing Clark's fascinated eyes to its every nuance. It was a weird kink, but one both of them enjoyed. The white traces also made him think of the end product of their passion, if that was what their exchanges of love, physical and emotional, should be called. Though they could "make love" in hundreds of ways, the physical exchange of bliss was one of their (many) favorites.

Clark continued to be enthralled by the way the light seemed to flicker in and out, the colors shifting and weaving together, forming a wave across the sky. Somewhat like the way Lex lets his emotions flicker across his face when he's around me. Like he's testing the water for which one he should display. I know he doesn't do that with anyone else; he's usually so blank or condescending. Clark sighed contentedly. I love when Lex lets me see him, all of him.

Clark loved Lex, and knew that Lex loved him. It was gestures like letting his emotions slip through, or rearranging his work schedule sometimes so that they could spend extra time together before Clark had to be home. They didn't need the words, though those came freely now that Clark had gotten over his fear and Lex had broken through his long-programmed barriers. The actions and expressions were affirmation enough for both of them, though it was still nice to hear it sometimes.

Too soon the colors in the sky began to fade. Clark looked at his watch, surprised that it revealed that he had been there far longer than he thought he had been. Though he had stopped crying a while ago, Clark rubbed at his eyes again and across his cheeks, erasing the tear stains as best he could. Returning home after throwing his father across the room and running away was going to be hard enough. He didn't want to add "obvious emotional wreck" to that torment. And oh God, once his dad knew that Lex knew about Clark's abilities... Clark wondered if it were actually possible to be killed by lectures, and he knew he was soon about to find out.

Because he had to head home. And face his parents. No matter how hard it was. No matter how afraid he was. Because he and his lover had a future together, that destiny thing that Lex was always talking about and that Clark wasn't sure he understood. And his living light of rainbow colors that wasn't transient and that he could hold and comfort and be comforted by was waiting for him. And it would be okay, because it had to be. Destiny meant the future, and the future was forever.